It’s all too easy for people to try to fit in when they feel like they’re not in sync with the rest of society on something. That’s particularly true for children and teenagers who don’t know what’s out there in the world and whose entire universe may be limited to the people they see in their immediate orbit and the stories they watch and read about in movies, television shows, and books. Big Girls Don’t Cry takes place at a particular moment in time when cell phones were just starting to become popular and the Internet wasn’t what it is today in a rich coming-of-age story about one girl who can’t figure out what she wants but is desperate to explore what she thinks she does.
Sid (Ani Palmer) lives with her father Leo (Noah Taylor), who doesn’t pay much attention to her and seems to be mentally somewhere else. While she spends most of her time with her best friend Tia (Ngataitangirua Hita), she soon gravitates to new friends when a popular girl she’s attracted to, Lana (Beatrix Rain Wolfe), starts giving her the time of day. She’s also opened to something new when her sister Adele (Tara Canton) brings home an American friend from university, Freya (Rain Spencer), who takes a liking to her new housemate.
Paloma Schneideman makes an impressive feature directorial debut with this film set in rural New Zealand in 2006, which heavily features the major communication tool of the time, instant messaging. Sid’s fascination with Lana begins when she logs in on the account belonging to Tia’s brother Diggy (Poroaki Merritt-McDonald) to initiate communication and find out where she is. These girls text but there are no pictures or quick responses, and it’s very easy to get mixed messages as a result.
Schneideman’s first feature film also marks Palmer’s first, and she’s an outstanding lead. Sid’s face displays a permanent perplexity, rarely engaging fully with the people she’s talking to and masking her true emotions, particularly as she navigates concepts entirely new to her. Watching her pretend to have an avid sexual past to impress her new friends and a group of boys is cringeworthy, but she leans into it, sticking with her story even when people call her out and ensuring that she’s present even when Lana sends fairly direct signals that she doesn’t believe her and doesn’t even seem to like her very much.
Spencer, whose own star-making turn in The Summer I Turned Pretty was predated by a phenomenal breakout performance in the Tribeca Film Festival entry Good Girl Jane, is a welcome presence here who, unlike every other character, doesn’t engage in judgement and instead sees her opportunity to open up Sid’s world, even if she isn’t aware that her physical resemblance to Lana indicates a different kind of interest in her company. Hita is another standout of the cast as someone who sees her friend abandoning her and isn’t eager to accept it. Taylor sometimes feels lost in his character in a compelling way, which makes his occasional returns to reality all the more poignant.
Like any good coming-of-age story, there isn’t a definitive arc that ties up all its loose ends neatly or even imagines a fact-filled, promising future for its protagonist. Instead, it lives with her in the uncomfortable moments as she tries to take on an identity she thinks she’s supposed to have, alienating those who do care about her in favor of impressing those she thinks she wants to like her. A strong, smart script is matched by up-and-coming, formidable talent on screen for a gem of a film that’s fun and familiar even for audiences far from its geographical and temporal setting.
Movie Rating: 8/10
Big Girls Don’t Cry premieres in the World Cinema Dramatic Competition at the 2026 Sundance Film Festival.
