AFI Fest Review: ‘Familiar Touch’ is a Heartfelt Look at Memory and Moving On

Getting old is almost never easy, especially if things don’t go according to a person’s plan or expectations. Losing memory only further complicates matters, and it’s usually the case that not remembering doesn’t come with an awareness of not remembering. Familiar Touch tells a touching and sensitive story of a woman with dementia whose transition to a care facility comes with alternating bursts of lucidity and crippling regressions laden with confusion and fear.

Ruth (Kathleen Chalfant) gets herself dressed in the morning and makes a complex and appetizing breakfast. Her guest, Steve (H. Jon Benjamin), arrives, but she can’t quite remember his name or who he is. When they head down to the car, he doubles back for his jacket only to return with a packed suitcase. When they arrive at an assisted living facility, she is told that he’s her son and that she’ll now be living here, something that was apparently her decision. As she adjusts to her new life, she welcomes certain pieces of her new surroundings and remains determined in isolated moments to show that she’s very much still in control.

Sarah Friedland’s feature directorial debut purposely offers little in the way of concrete information but provides excellent context clues offered by the way Ruth acts and what is around her. She removes a piece of toast from the toaster and puts it on the drying rack while simultaneously preparing another piece on a plate, and she doesn’t notice Steve’s visible discomfort when she puts her hand on his thigh. When he tells her how they know each other, she expresses her disbelief since, as she insists, she never wanted to be a mother. While that’s surely hurtful to Steve, it also can’t be the first time she’s said something like that in his orbit.

Familiar Touch will be an undeniably heartbreaking watch for anyone who has seen dementia up close and experienced it in a family member or friend. But it also offers something unexpectedly uplifting, which is a positive portrayal of an assisted living and memory care facility. Vanessa

(Carolyn Michelle) is the nurse who works closest with Ruth and connects with her emotionally, even opening up about her own personal life. Brian (Andy McQueen) checks Ruth’s vitals and responds without being demeaning when she recites a borscht recipe by heart to show her mental fitness. In the film’s best scene, former chef Ruth walks into the kitchen at the facility and begins preparing breakfast, dismissing the actual employees, and no one steps in to tell her that she’s mistaken or that she’s not actually in charge.

It’s affirming to see such an uplifting portrait of a place where, as characters acknowledge, those who check in will remain until their deaths, and to know that facilities like it might truly exist. Filming on location at the Villa Gardens retirement community in Pasadena, California definitely helps with that authenticity, though Ruth does overhear Brian describing the place as a “geriatric country club” his own grandmother could never hope to afford. But the idea of respecting and actually taking care of people who might not know or be able to remember otherwise is a much-needed sentiment in an all-too-often dismal world.

Chalfant is a gifted actress who has been working consistently in film, television, and theater for decades, and she delivers a wonderfully understated performance here that doesn’t involve jarring shifts but instead subtle transformations as she takes stock of her situation. Benjamin, Michelle, and McQueen all respond formidably to her in equally subdued turns that epitomize respect and care. Friedland has clear talent on display in this debut, a film that should affect all audiences but will hit those with personal associations to its storyline that much harder.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Awards Buzz: This film won several prizes, including one for Best Actress and Best Debut Film, at the Venice Film Festival, but this film is definitely too under-the-radar for any major accolades, though industry respect for Chalfant could help it reach some voting audiences.